“We love the things that destroy us, because in that destruction we truly feel alive.” ― Robert Pobi, Bloodman
Read that quote from author Robert Pobi’s book, and you have to consider the spectrum of addiction to anything.
It just feels good, at least for a while.
Next, consider these words in Pobi’s blog on his personal website, a few words written about a friend of his:
“One of my friends was found dead in his apartment this morning and I have spent the whole day playing ‘what if’ with myself”
This pretty much covers how friends and loved ones feel when someone dies alone, regardless of the cause of circumstances.
If you are in recovery from addiction to anything, you’ve already figured out that you no longer have in your life that destructive thing you spent months or years loving. Finding a new thing to love, a new life to love, is one of recovery’s biggest challenges. If you don’t figure out how to put each foot forward each second of the day, relapse looms.
Probably it doesn’t really matter what you are addicted to, since all addictions cause damage to either yourself or someone else.
Finding meaning in the journey of addiction
Other than not getting out alive, there isn’t much anyone really knows about how his or her life is going to end.
What we have control over is the part between now and then.
Recovery from an addiction isn’t just about not drinking, not eating, not doing drugs or not being a workaholic. It is about not loving the cause of the addiction anymore, and learning to love something else more gently, each and every day.
What that “something” is, is person-specific; there isn’t magic pair of generic hiking boots that you can set out wearing.
There is no wrong way about setting out on the journey of recovery, as long as you aren’t substituting one addiction for another.